Wednesday, April 11, 2012

July 1, 2011

Philippians 4:8, "...Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable."

Our one year anniversary of car crash is creeping upon us faster and faster.  Emotions are all over the place.  Nearly everything is a trigger of memory. I try to dwell on what is true...we all are alive.  What is lovely is we get to celebrate other day together.  What is honorable is God grants me more time to see my boys grow some more.

Simple but powerful.  One morning, Todd and I were in his bedroom to get him ready for the day.  He grabbed a short from his drawer and placed it on my laps then looked for a t shirt.  He didn't understand why at first my jaws fell to the floor.  The short has desgin of fire truck, ambulance, and police car.  He looked and said, "They were at car accident."  Yes.

Kevin is in boy scouts.  He read their magazine and came across an article about a scout who was in car accident with his mother and his sister.  He got out and saved their lives.  I could see a pang of guilt on his face.  He said, "I couldn't get out to get help."  Told him that he did great that day.  There was no way he could have gotten out.  Rescuers had to either cut or break branches to get to us.

We often see a van that was alike ours.  Often that causes me to think of the aftermath of crash.  I see in pictures how crushed our van was in the end and think how blessing we got out.

Once in a while, we will drive on road that looks similar to the road we drove on in crash.  I had to stop once and let Stuart take over.  Sometimes when boys are happily playing in back seats and Stuart is asleep, that triggers to the moment how it was like that before the crash.

It affects us all.  The biggest one is seeing my limits and my scars.  I see it everyday.  That brings me to the next blog.  Stuart encourages me to write about physical milestones; how far I have gotten from the day I was brought to hospital. 

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